Tuesday 26 August 2014

What To Do When You Are Jealous Of Your Friend's Style

What To Do When You Are Jealous Of Your Friend's Style

Hey guys, it's Hanna!

Well, you already took the first step: identifying the problem. When you are jealous of something it usually means you wish you had it to yourself and thus start disliking the person who has it instead of you. Somehow, being "angry" at that person helps you deal with how angry you are at yourself for not being able to get what you want.

01. Realise that being jealous in itself, although common, is rather stupid. By being angry at whoever it is or wishing you were just like them won't get you anywhere. Once you realize this and move on from your anger towards your friend and yourself, all will be easier. Don't be angry at your friend for being stylish or at yourself for not being (or even for being jealous). Style can be studied and attained.

02. Isolate the feeling: you may be jealous of several things but try to access what is it exactly. It could be that you wish you had that same handbag or red pumps but it could also be you just wish you could be as happy as she looks with those new things or that you wish you could afford to have new things whenever you feel like it. If you find out that the style-based jealousy is hiding something deeper see this article. Other reasons may be that you wish you had the guts to pull off a difficult piece but worry too much about what others think of you, or even wishing you'd look good in that colour.

03. Swallow your pride and ask her for pointers or to borrow a particular item. She will probably let you, if you two are really friends. If you are too proud to ask her just watch and learn. Observe her (not in a stalker-like way, just make mental notes) and notice what she is wearing, how she wears the pieces and how she puts them together. maybe even write down what you like about it. Do you like the breezy light feel of it? The chunkiness of her knits? Identify what attracts you.

04. Think thoroughly what is it exactly that you like. If you love her fierce red pumps, it could be that you like her look in heels: get yourself a pair of heels (different enough from her that you can feel better and no one will notice). If you like the colour and how well it suits her beware: if you aren't alike it could be that the colour to give your skin, eyes and hair the best look possible is very different. It could also be that you like the overall style/the sensation the clothes pass on to the observer. Use a style website like polyvore.com to search clothes and looks and identify what you like (you can even ask other stylish member for help).

05. Identify the feel it gives you, and try to achieve it with your own clothes and different outfits. Or buy a couple of pieces that give that feel. Back to the red pumps, if you love the fearless look of wearing such a daring colour, get something with the same feel but completely different like a shock-pink trench or a bright green shirt. Look out for things that might not suit you and think twice before buying the item if you're not okay with getting weird looks on the street.

06. Don't forget to work with what you've got. Things that look great on her may not look great on you! Keep in mind your personal characteristics and which colours look best on you. She looks great in lime-green? If you don't, but love the look, emulate it with a colour that looks good on you. In case of doubt, use universally flattering colours like true red, teal or eggplant.

Extra tips:
⋆ Go through each others' closets. You may want to swap just between the two of you, pass on unwanted items and/or make outfits that the clothes owner had never thought of. This is particularly helpful to you as your style savant-friend will basically tell you how to get her style with your clothes. Pay attention.
⋆ If you are just open and honest with her, she'll probably be flattered and help you out with tons of tips.
⋆ Try having a fashion swap party you may end up with some of her thing you love the most.
⋆ Talk to her honestly. If you are young enough, she might even enjoy you both having the same outfits and wear them the same days, as twins.

Warnings:
⋆ Don't let jealousy ruin your friendship.
⋆ Don't be mean to her just because you need to feel better than her somehow. Think thoroughly and although you may not be as pretty or as good of a soccer player, you have other fields in which she is no match to you such as maths or guitar playing.
⋆ Style shouldn't be all that important. If you feel insecure about your looks, work on that before embarking on a style journey.

And these are all my tips and warnings about this topic. Hope this helps.

xoxo
-Hanna


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