Hey guys, it's Hanna!
This is the second of four sets about being a social butterfly!
εїз Learn to read people. Now that we're past the abstract, master-your-own-mind stuff, onto the meat and potatoes of it all. If you want to be a social ninja, reading people is imperative. There a dozen cues you can find at anytime to know how to act around a person. When you can spot 'em, the whole process of socializing gets a lot easier.
εїз Don't only read their body language, tone, and visual cues, but take in how they interact with others. Do they have a large personal bubble? Do they value humor and joking around or are they more quiet and intellectual? If you can emulate it, do so. Fitting into every social circle is just a matter of interacting how the group expects.
εїз Master body language and eye contact. For different groups, there may be different expectations for body language and eye contact. But for most humans, there are good rules of thumb: be open and make eye contact most of the time. You want to appear confident and relaxed -- not stressed out and menacing.
εїз In some circles, though not all, flirting is an integral part of being a social butterfly. Everyone likes being flirted with and it's a simple way to establish a bond. When someone touches us, we automatically feel closer to them. If you want to work your way in, start flirting!
εїз Pick up a new hobby. You probably have your friends and odds are they're all a little similar. To be that butterfly, you'll need to branch out! You'll gain new skills, meet new people, and learn to interact with others that aren't as like you. So instead of being in a play, work backstage. Instead of swimming, take a scuba course. Instead of playing chess, join the cricket team. Just a little out of your comfort zone for starters!
εїз If it intrigues you, consider taking an acting class. Being forced to play a role and getting used to that feeling makes it a lot easier to fake being a social butterfly. There will be times when you don't feel like being social, but you can find a character within you who does. And if you fake it for long enough, it eventually becomes habit!
εїз Start noticing. Most people are totally tuned out to the world. It's how "stop and smell the roses" gained its meaning. Instead, get in the moment. Observe. Do it right now: think about what you're feeling (in the touch sense), hearing, smelling, tasting, and seeing. What did you notice that you didn't 10 seconds ago?
εїз This will help when interacting with people. You'll have more to say and you'll pick up on people's more subtle reactions. You'll be able to ask more interesting questions and since no one else is noticing, you'll be particularly impressive.
εїз Don't judge people. When you do get out there, the only way you can truly be a butterfly is to flit around every circle. You can't sit with the jocks and look down on the band kids. You can't associate with the hipsters and turn your nose up at the preps. You gotta be open to everyone. Otherwise you're a butterfly without wings. You're a social caterpillar.
εїз Being a social butterfly is sort of different than being popular. That's because being popular does not mean you are well-liked by everyone! The Plastics in Mean Girls were popular, but they weren't liked. So while you should definitely make friends with the popular kids (even if you're out of school!), make friends with everyone else, too.
εїз Get in the spotlight. You'll need to get used to being where the people are and having everyone know your name, so might as well start now. Run for class president. Organize a new club. Seek out some public recognition. The more people who know you, the easier it'll be to socialize at all those parties you're going to!
εїз Seek out a position of leadership anywhere. It could be at school, at your job, or at one of your extracurricular activities. When you hold the reigns, people will be coming to you. Imagine being a butterfly that the flowers come to themselves!
And that's all for now.
xoxo
-Hanna
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